Author: Adam

  • Taking Stock of the Situation.

    Taking Stock of the Situation.

    Being overwhelmed is a way of life for me. Whether it is bills, house chores, shopping, meeting up with people, time management, the list goes on. Just doing this blog is taxing for me at the moment, and even on day two I felt like I had taken on too much! Looking from the inside out, it feels like every task is a mountain to climb, and there is no escaping the crushing weight of it all.The feeling of drowning is not uncommon.

    Because of this, I have started watching videos online about slow living, being frugal, death cleaning, and many more. I have looked around my house and noticed just how much stuff I own, and for the most part, don’t even use.

    For many people with ADHD, it is hard to resist impulsive spending. Impulsivity is one of the major symptoms of ADHD, so it is not uncommon for those with ADHD to buy first and think later. Sure, impulsive spending may leave you with the challenge of storing all of your new purchases. – Verywell Mind

    This statement is spot on for me, and also others I know with ADHD. Add that to the fact that I want to try everything, and having a new hobby each week, stuff just piles up and gets dumped into a free space. Doing things like chores around the house becomes a nightmare, and a snowball effect starts to form.

    This also affects our bank account, which then affects the bills, along with not planning for the big bills, car/house insurance, car/council tax, utility bills, subscriptions (which can also be from impulse buys), food shops, petrol, you get the point.

    I have been trying to break down what is the most important  thing I need to do first this year, to build a foundation to work from. Without a foundation, anything I do will be a headache of juggling tasks with no structure, and that will be a sure fire way for me to give up before I even start.

    When I think of starting anything, like a new hobby, or learning something new, my brain tries to plan out the whole thing, with all the highs, and an abnormal amount of lows, making something that was meant to be easy, or fun, become something that is just too much to deal with. I go from being hyper excited, to being extremely low in the blink of an eye, as I have created the mountain of obstacles for myself, putting in problems that may never arise, and all the chatter in my head then tells me there is no point, just start a new easier task that we can then crush your spirits with also.

    What I need to do is enjoy the journey more, take it one step at a time, and learn as I go. 

    As I am writing this, I feel like I may be jumping about with what I am trying to say. I have to sift through my thoughts, pick the ones that are needed, and then also try and find the correct way to say them which makes sense to you all. Please bear with me.

    The point I am trying to make (and probably not well) is that I need structure in my life. I need to take stock of everything that is happening, and learn how I can control it in a way that eases the pressure I feel on a day to day basis. That way, I’m hoping, I will have less worries to add to the list of problems that my brain relishes in reeling off to me every time I start something new.

    For my finances I need to make a calendar of all the money that leaves my bank every month. Find the dates when annual bills come out, mark them down so I’m not blindsided by them. Look through all the subscription services I use and see if it is necessary or something that I can cancel to give myself some extra funds.

    Finances are probably the most important thing to be on top for us, and most people, I would assume, would think the same. Feeling like I am in control with our day to day spending, would be a great first step to creating structure in my life, and shrink one of the mountains that I get overwhelmed by.

    To tackle this I have decided to use the smart goal method, which they taught me in a steps to wellbeing course that I went on for my anxiety. I have never really understood it properly before, however I looked into it yesterday, and posted how to use it on this site. Just go to Tools in the menu bar, and a drop down menu will have the page for you to read. Or you can search for it using the search feature. This time I managed to get a better grasp of how this method is used.

    The point of the smart goal method is to take a goal that you want to achieve, break it down into smaller manageable chunks, and then add a time limit for the goal to be achieved by. You also need to have a solid reason for why you want to do this in the first place, and make sure that it can be realistically completed in the set amount of time.

    I will add a section for all of my goals, with dates started, and completed. I will add feedback with whether it worked well or not, what I could have changed, or whether it was a breeze (fingers crossed) to complete. That way you will be able to follow my progress, and I will be able to keep a record of my journey.

    I will also have a section of the challenges I set for myself, which will have any smart goals added to them, and any other techniques/methods I have used while working on completing them.

    My overall goal is to improve my wifes and my own life, to learn graphic design again, but in more depth and to a higher standard, and to make a self employed successful business with the skills I have learnt.

    I’m sure there will be plenty of tweaks that I will have to make along the way, but for now I have a direction, and that is one of the biggest hurdles dealt with. 

    Thank you for reading

  • A fresh start, but with a better understanding.

    A fresh start, but with a better understanding.

    Hi, my name is Adam ^.^

    I am in my early 40’s, and in 2024 I was diagnosed with ADHD. This was added to my original list of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts. Fun times!
    My life has always been very difficult, like many peoples, to navigate. I could never understand why people found certain things, if not all things, so easy to do. They never seemed to care about possible outcomes, getting things wrong, and not having to plan every little detail! It also didn’t help that I am interested in almost everything, and jumping from one hobby to the next.
    My life is just a whirlwind of over-thinking, and not getting a lot done because of it.

    But, this is where things are going to change.
    My plan for 2025 is to focus on becoming a productive member of society. To find ways to focus, or atleast use my mental health as an asset, rather than a hinderance.

    I have been out of work for a few years now, after a full on breakdown. During that time, I have tried to work doing jobs like labouring, and landscaping, and have always ended up with mental burnout. These jobs have been with people that I know or my family knows.
    Because of this, I have become a house husband… with issues.
    My breakdown wasn’t my first, but was by far the worst, that just snapped any system I had made in my brain for helping me through the day to day. It was so bad that I couldn’t leave the house. Even standing in the garden was crippling for me. Over time this has eased off and now I am a lot better, but still worse off than before.

    At the end of 2024 I began planning my comeback. My family and friends have been wonderful, and my wife has taken on a lot of burdens, like being the sole person who earns a wage. I see her struggling and it breaks my heart.
    It’s now time for me to start working towards supporting this family once more. To be the main breadwinner, and for my wife to be able to cut back.

    To do this though I need to dive into research mode, work out how my brain ticks, and find new ways to do things that will keep me as productive as possible.
    To make life easier, I have been spending time thinking about my true passions and if I can lean on them to earn some pennies. Luckily for me it is Graphic Design. I studied it at college, which was a nightmare, as there was very little structure, meaning that I always left things to the last minute and did a half assed job of it. I have since dabbled with it, making posters, tickets for events, etc, but on a very low scale for local events/clubs.
    Now, I am going to start from scratch, and actually study the subject, learn the programs properly (the public domain versions as they are free), and set myself projects.
    I will also need to improve my English language skills, as English is beyond me (never had a dyslexia test, but the doctor thinks it is possible), to help with writing this blog. And lets not forget that I need to learn how to use wordpress and build my site from the ground up.

    Now for the point of me creating this blog/site.

    This Site will be a place for me to track my journey, to log down information and resources that I have found helpful, and to hopefully be a place for others to visit, to find help and inspiration to improve their lives, whether they have mental health issues or not.
    It may also give people who know others with mental health issues some insight into why they do things the way they do, or why they are struggling with tasks that seem easy to most.
    I have plans to review things like books that are deemed as amazing for improving your life, and see if they are any good for neurodivergent people.

    I have many other ideas swirling around my brain (like always) but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.

    For now, I will leave it there, and thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you will join me on this journey! Apologies for any grammatical errors… I’m working on it.

    Adam

    P.S This has taken me around 4 hrs to write, due to having too much to say, trying my best not to go off on a tangent, and general distractions lol